For some reason my day today has been filled with the beginnings of tying up loose ends in our relationship. My husband and I are business partners and he is just beginning to realize that some of the things I have been saying for the past five years in regards to our business really are true. Imagine that, I could have been correct all along. That is something that is pretty darned bittersweet to hear at this point, considering all of the friction that we have given each other in that time. Perhaps a bit more respect for my knowledge would have been a nice thing to have but unfortunately being right isn't going to help us recoup money that we certainly could use to help fund our new lives.

So, I applied for a job at Target this morning. I'm sure that it is a nice place to work, as far as hourly wage positions go, but the thought of having to punch a time clock really is not one that I look forward to. I guess I need to update what limited skills I do have, as I have no desire to pinch pennies and do without at this stage of the game. I feel like I'm smarter than that, and really want to put those hours of the day to better use than for minimum wage. I've been working on the alternative for a while now, hopefully I can make a living at it before Katie is out of school.

I also went to 'reclaim' a rental property that is suddenly vacant. I wasn't too happy with the looks of it, but all the things that are wrong are really just cosmetic and all of that is quite fixable by me. So, starting tomorrow that is what I'm going to do- fix it. This property is the one that my husband is moving to, and it's depressing enough to move from our current home, but the thought of moving into that place in the current state it's in is too much even for me. So, I'm going to start cleaning and painting. OK, so even if we are talking divorce here I still don't want him to feel the classic feelings that the husband gets the short end of the stick. I want our 'playing field' to be as even as possible. Besides that, I want to make sure that I'm seen to be 'doing my part', or something along those lines. When it comes right down to it I think I will always be somewhat of a 'people pleaser' and that certainly applied to my marriage.

I think it's going to take some time for me to 'deprogram' from this whole relationship thing.