The last stage for Elisabeth Kubler Ross's seven stages of grief is acceptance. And I find myself there, after only seven months of my new reality. Since September, and the beginning of my journey to the 'new me' I have grown to accept what is happening in my life. Accept it and have gotten used to it.
I had my fortune read last night, Tarot cards, actually. My friend, who has been doing this since she was twelve, told me that I am in a deep rut in my life. And I know that I am, the deepest of my entire life. I am the kind of person who seems to roll with the punches, who takes the negative in stride and deals with it pretty well. The past few years have been hard, and they got much harder as I went along. I think I was afraid to throw in the towel and ACT on what I knew I needed to do, so the cumulative negative effects were exponentially worse than they needed to be. I just couldn't accept that I needed to act on moving on.
The past few months have been revelatory for me, I have welcomed the opportunity to 'indulge' in self discovery of the most intimate nature. What have I found? I found that there are certain aspects of my nature that I don't really like- procrastination being chief among them, but there are many things about myself that I DO like. Things such as having a true and loving heart. A sense of continued responsibility for my children as they grow older, a need to put myself at the top of the list (for a change). I have spent the past few months digging myself out of the very deep hole I had been creating for myself for such a long time. And it's been really nice to see some of the light of day that is really out there.
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